Friday, December 13, 2013

Thoughts on Lady Choices

Hey there. Been awhile, I know. I read something today that inspired me and I wanted to get on my soapbox about it for a tic. 

So I read this letter:
To The Women Who Don't Want to Have Kids.

And I thought. Wow. Thank you. I've never had that all encompassing urge to have a baby and be a parent. It's not something that I yearn for. I wouldn't say I'm 100% against it. More like, 85%. I'm not in a particularly great place in my life to have a child anyhow. I'm 33, single, I work full time and go to school part time. I can barely fit in sleep. I have cats and they're all the snuggles I need. Hell, I'd love to get a dog, but I don't have time for that either. I have a few girlfriends who feel the same way I do, so I KNOW that I'm not totally weird for not wanting to be a Mom. Despite what society keeps telling me. I get a lot of guff when I tell people that I'm not particularly interested in being a parent. Some people tell me that I don't know what I'm talking about. Or I'll change my mind when I meet the right man. Most people, however look at me as though I'm either making an excuse because I'm single and the age I am and it must be all a facade to make myself feel better about where I'm at in my life OR that I'm the most selfish woman ever created for not wanting to devote my life to being a Mom. No one calls a man self centered when he says he doesn't want kids. THAT REALLY ANNOYS ME. A man doesn't have a uterus, so it's okay for him not to want to be a parent, but I do, so that somehow makes me some sort of hideous, wretched excuse for a woman. I don't understand what's so damn difficult about accepting people's choices and supporting them regardless of whether or not they align with your own particular vision for a happy life. I thought people of my Mother's generation fought for choice and acceptance. Was I wrong? Or did we only fight for the choices that other people think are the ones we ought to be making?

 I don't begrudge people their choice to have children. Heck, I love being fun Aunt Jill. I get all the snuggles and good times and none of the lame responsible stuff. Just last weekend I got an entire room of adults to wear pillows as hats in order to entertain my best friends 4 year old. It was epic. I like my life as is, what can I say? I know I don't have the time or the inclination to put in the effort it would take to be a great parent. And I would want to be a great parent. This letter speaks to that. It makes me feel a little better to know that a complete stranger recognizes and validates my choice. Not that it needs validation, but you know what I'm getting at. 

Anyway. Make your life choices. Stand by them. I support your right to make them. People are going to judge no matter what you do, so who cares what they think anyway. One of the best lessons I've been able to learn is to surround myself with the people that support me and lose the ones who don't. 

Also, I got another Stitch Fix credit. *Squee* and I have another fix coming on Thursday. SO. EXCITED. Pictures to follow. Yaaaay!