This one is brutal.

I feel like this post needs a disclaimer. I'm having a bad day. I've been having a bad week, maybe. I've got a ton of negativity building up in my head and I need to get it the hell out of there. This is the kind of shit that goes on in my head when I'm feeling low. I haven't edited my thoughts or feelings in the slightest. This is how I choose to go to therapy. Maybe if I spew it all out some of it won't come back. Don't be concerned for my well being, it's not like that. Welcome to the inner sanctum. It's a weird place.

I have to get some of this garbage out of my head. It's just rattling around in there. It's making me bonkers. And lately everything has been making me bonkers. My interactions with people annoy me and tire me. Functioning as a normal human being takes IMMENSE effort. The only thing I REALLY want to do is stay at home and snuggle my cats. I can't find motivation to do much of anything and that's starting to be a bummer because I have a ton to do. And then at work today one of the pharmacists checking my work questioned what I did and in this case I KNOW I was right, but suddenly three other pharmacists ganged up on me and started a diatribe of questions designed to render my argument invalid and when they couldn't do that they claimed they'd never heard of what I was referring to. Not that they WOULD because  they don't ever actually HANDLE the drugs and therefore wouldn't know how to properly prepare it. Trust me, you'd be surprised. And this has left me in a funk. Replaying the scene over and over again in my head. Questioning myself, thinking of what else I could have said to prove my case and feeling like they were all snickering at me behind my back or at least thinking me out of place for arguing my point and defending my choice. As though I should have conceded to them because they have the higher degree, so by default they're always right.

And now I'm pissed off because my brain is wired this way. I desperately want things not to bother me. I desperately want not to feel so incredibly mortified and humiliated all the time.


I think I must have always felt like an outsider. I've always felt hideously misunderstood. I can't think back to a time where I didn't feel that way. I can remember instances as far back as first grade when I felt odd or had it pointed out to me by my classmates that I was different. Weird. That did go away for awhile in my late teens and early twenties. I found a group of people that seemed to really like me and understand me and all of a sudden I was on the inside. Years of being on the outside looking in and finally I was on the inside. Then the inside started to feel....claustrophobic. Something shifted and suddenly, I wasn't on the inside anymore. I lost that fearless, happy feeling. Maybe I'm remembering it with too much nostalgia, but I do remember being confident and afraid of very little. I also remember some histrionic personality, quirks, but whatever. Those have either mellowed out or I have learned how to better deal with them. Ever since I lost that feeling, I feel like I've reverted back to my childhood. I feel like people don't take me seriously as an adult. I feel insecure and scared a lot.

I had the unfortunate experience of being a very sensitive child raised in a time when such things were not considered important to address. It was REALLY easy to hurt my feelings. I don't feel like I ever learned how to interact with people on a normal, casual level. Everything was a slight or had a hidden meaning. In the 80's people didn't really do much for people with personality issues, I think a lot of kids I knew would have been considered to be on the autism spectrum if that had been a thing back then, but as it was you were basically told to get your shit together and behave or suffer the consequences. I think I could have benefited from talk therapy at an early age. Maybe if I had dealt with my feelings of loneliness and misunderstanding at an early age I wouldn't be in the head space I'm in now. Which is:

Disagreements with people torment me.
My unintended bad actions and words haunt me for months.
When I feel like people either don't like me, or I've made a mistake somehow, I avoid people for months.
I always think people are saying nasty things about me behind my back.
It takes an abnormally long time for me to be able to trust people.
I feel like my closest family members don't really understand me.
I don't think people genuinely like me. I feel like they think I'm difficult.
I don't feel like I can actually change the way my brain works or better my life.
I'm always lonely, but I don't have the energy to make plans and being around too many people is exhausting.
I feel like I spend my whole life skating on thin ice and getting by by the skin of my teeth.
I feel like I'll never find anyone that really loves me and I don't deserve to.
I feel too tired to do anything about it.


I know this is my head being a douche bag, I get it. Brain weasels are a bitch. Mine have burrowed pretty deep. I mean, I guess I'm depressed. I should probably see a therapist, but I don't believe that will help and I don't want to take drugs that alter my brain chemistry. It's also expensive and I don't really trust people, so I imagine myself sitting there being asked inane questions with my arms crossed, saying nothing.

There. I Think that's everything.

My day in Photos

So, I was tooling around blogspace on Tuesday morning and stumbled across a blog in which occasionally the writer decided to share her day with her readers in black and white photos taken once an hour. I thought it was a really cute idea. I also thought some of my far away friends might enjoy seeing what I'm up to these days, so last Tuesday I took a picture every hour (well, almost) that I was awake. This is a typical Tuesday for me this semester. 

8:00 wake up. I spend a smidgen of time in bed, with my heated mattress pad surfing the internet. It's where I wish I could stay all day. Having stuff to do is bullshit.

9:00 am: Searching the interwebs for Christmas gift ideas, coffee cup in hand. The one good thing the cleanse did for me was wean me off the MASSIVE quantities of caffeine I was drinking. I adore the taste and find the act of drinking it comforting, so it's never going away, but the heart palpitations stopped. I consider that a win. 

10:00 am. Loki, my little buddy. Loves his Mama and would sit on my lap all damn day if he could. He basically meows at me until I make room for him.

11:00 am. Finally getting around to breakfast, poached eggs are my new favorite thing to make. 

12:00 pm. Getting in a little bit of studying before I have to run off to class. Aerosol medication delivery. Fascinating.

1:00 pm. Getting dressed for class. You get a selfie. Lucky people. 

2:00 pm. So freaking cold outside. The bus is strangely empty today, although after this TWO people in rascals got on the bus. I was kind of hoping a third rascal driver would try to get on, just to see how that would work out. 

3:00 pm. Respiratory lab. Today we'll be learning how to give nebulizer treatments. 

4:00 pm. Taking notes. There's a quiz in lecture tonight. 

5:00 - 7:00 pm. This is my sorry I was too busy to take a photo face. Lab/Lecture. Completely forgot. Which, I guess is a good thing. I was paying very close attention.

8:00pm I remembered to take a photo while I listened to lecture. I forget what NIV is....guess I'm going to have to go look that up. Whoopsy. 

9:00pm. Making the VERY chilly trek home. Gots my Irish hat on. Bought that one in Ireland.

10:00 The view on my street. It'd be a lovely night if it wasn't so cold. I really like this picture. 

10:00 pm, still. Hey! It's a freebie photo of me watching youtube videos before bed. Love Jenna Marbles. 

11:00. Bed time. Finally. Did I mention I have a heated mattress pad? It's pretty much the best ever. Did I mention I never wanted to get out of it? Right. Sorry. It's just REALLY great. 

Welp, there you have it. Every Tuesday, I do the same thing. I just wish I didn't have that whole pesky class thing. I'd love to spend a few days at home doing absolutely nothing, but watching Netflix and drinking coffee. Being an adult can be SUCH bullshit sometimes. Booo. I hope you liked! Until next time....

Cleansing...Why am I doing this again?

This might be one of the worst ideas I ever had. No, seriously. Day 1 I tried to prep all my stuff. I was so good. I ate only vegetables. I developed a terrible headache. The worst one I've ever had. Then I made it 3/4 through the day on Wednesday only to completely lose my shit at dinner. I fell off the wagon HARD. Let's be realistic, I threw myself from that wagon. I decided to get back on, so I modified the cleanse. I added hummus and beans and more chicken than I was supposed to be allowed to eat. That was much easier to adhere to. Then last night and this morning I've been wondering why I'm torturing myself like this because it feels like torture. All these delicious foods SO CLOSE to me and yet, I can't consume them. Then I got on the scale this morning and I'm down 2.7 pounds. My heart palpitations from too much caffeine have stopped. I'm not sure if I feel more energized because all I think about is food. I guess SOMETHING good is happening. It's supposed to be 7 days, but I think I can stick it out until dinner on Sunday night. My job is having an early holiday dinner thingey. I really don't want to be doing this into next week anyway. Ok, off to drink my warm lemon water, my fiber, and my aloe. Yeccchhhh. Really questioning my sanity here. 

It's The Cleanse! Day 1!!!

Why hello.
I mentioned a few weeks ago that I would be doing a cleanse and the day has arrived. The cleanse lasts 7 days. I'm aiming for 7, but we'll see how long I make it. I purchased a nutriclean 7 day cleanse detox and balance kit. It comes with various tablets and the most foul tasting fiber supplement I ever drank. I also drank warm water with half a lemon in it. I also drank some aloe. All these things were completely unpalatable. Not going to lie. Super gross. Coffee is out of the question, so I treated myself to some fancy green tea, which tastes pretty good. I have cut back on the coffee consumption recently and realized that the heart palpitations I was having were directly related to my massive caffeine consumption. Whoops. It just....it's so tasty. For me, coffee isn't only a delicious tasty beverage, it's also a psychological crutch I need to use less often. I then made up a veggie and egg white scramble with green peppers, broccoli, mushrooms, red onions, tomatoes, garlic, dill, celtic sea salt and egg whites. It isn't bacon, eggs, and toast, but it is tasty.

I have to prep vegan chili, cauliflower soup, beet chips, banana chips and zucchini fritters today, so I have something to eat over the next bunch of days. Fortunately, I don't have class today, so I can laze about this morning and work on it later.

I think this is going to be mostly psychological. The wholesome, healthy side of me really wants to make it. The naughty foodie wants to go bonkers and eat whatever. However, I did just spend too much money on a shitload of produce, so I'm going to eat it.

Here's the link to my Pinterest board that has all my cleanse recipes on it. They're pretty delicious looking.

Cleanse Recipes!!!

Ugh. I already miss dairy. Dairy is my life. I don't know how I'm going to survive 7 days without milk and cheese. Send me your good juju interweb people. I need all the positive thinking I can get,

Cleaning up messes

Aloha. Greetings from dark, dank and rainy Connecticut. It's very fitting for my mood. So, I'm not talking about literal messes. I'm talking about the messes we make in our relations with other humans. First, a story. It's a true one, too.

In the before time, the not quite so long ago, there was a falling out. I would like to say it was a falling out between friends, but the fact of the matter is that only one side of the many sides in the falling out was honest and true. Like all things, the honest and true side wound up being hit the hardest. Not only by the lies she uncovered, but by the attack the dark side forged upon her as a means to save their own skins. She realized that it was impossible to fight the dark side because she would not fight like they fought and when you refuse to hurt other people to save your own skin, sometimes you lose. So she (I?) retreated and let them win and let them tarnish her name to save herself and the people she cared about from further pain. People thought she was holding on to petty grudges and she let them think it even though the truth was that they had done some pretty cruel things in order to try to break her spirit. Some serious shit that was seriously unforgivable. They almost succeeded. Fortunately they weren't as tricky as they thought and some people, other people they hurt, were wise to their shenanigans. Other people fell hook, line, and sinker for them and were lost to her. And that fucking sucked because she really liked some of the people she lost. And time passed and when she was still unwilling to subject herself to their bullshit she found she had to speak up because people were starting to think that she was acting like a child and an asshole.

So, what's the deal with the story? Well, recently I had to make some very carefully crafted confessions and let people know that in fact, I am not being a petty child, I am preserving my mental health (and possibly my physical health) and that my reluctance to participate in certain things is because these people are some of the best liars I've ever met and some of the downright blackest souls I have ever encountered. And all that is born out of crippling insecurity and feelings of self loathing, so they break people in order to make themselves feel like they're worth something. Cruel fucking trick because if they just acted like decent human beings, I'm 99% positive that people would really like them and everyone could live in peace and harmony, but I digress. I wanted more than ANYTHING not to say a word, but the time had come when I had to speak up or else become okay with the fact that people were going to think I was a childish bitch who held onto grudges. So,   I told and I felt better. Like, a million times better. It was unbelievable how good I felt. And I did it without embarassing anyone or calling anyone out. I'm a confessing champ! And I felt such a weight lifted that I was inspired to explain to someone else because I also owed them a bit of an apology. So I crafted a thoughtful e-mail, explained, apologized, wished them well and that felt....less great. It felt kind of shitty, actually. That person, instead of saying, ' Oh man, thanks! I understand! I'm sorry too!' Said 'I appreciate that. Did you talk to anyone else about it?'....o_O....not an unfair response, but not what I was hoping for,

Hmmmm....That was weird. I expected to feel better. I feel....crummier. Maybe that's because this person is a known consort of the dark side. Perhaps this person has fallen victim to their shiny outsides. Now I fear retribution from them. I shouldn't, but they destroy people for sport. Sounds ridiculous and dramatic, but as someone who has been on the receiving end of it, believe me. It's an accurate statement.

The moral of the story? It's a good thing to admit when you're wrong and try to mend fences, but you have to be prepared for the fact that the other person may not want to mend fences with you. As someone said to me today, though, at least you've cleared your conscience. Being an adult. Weird and kind of depressing. You should still make the effort. It's good to wipe the dirty spots off your soul.

A post about health and not shopping.

Hello there people in blog reading land.

Recently, I have been too often eating my feelings and feeling garbage-y and tired and like I need 8 gallons of coffee to survive. Working full time and taking 10 credits worth of classes is no dang joke. So, what's a girl to do? Well, through a friend I know on The Book of Face, I am embarking on a 7 day cleanse next month. I've taken cleansing products before, but now I am combining it with an appropriate diet. What's this mean for me?

For 7 days:
~ ALL THE VEGETABLES
~ No dairy
~ No gluten or starches
~ No alcohol whatsoever (gulp)
~ Severely reduced coffee consumption (double gulp)
~ Severely upticked green tea and herbal tea consumption
~ ALL THE WATER
~ Hot water with lemon every morning
~ No red meat
~ enough protein to survive my day, so chicken, tofu, egg whites, fishes
~ No artificial sugars
~ no more than 3 fruits per day
~ Serious meal planning
~ extreme organization
~ Making yoga an every day thing. Akin to eating.


I hope that after 7 days I will

~ Feel lighter inside
~ Have more energy (My biggest hope)
~ Have better skin
~ Crave less garbage food
~ Crave less sugar
~ Have fewer GI issues
~ Kickstart a healthier lifestyle
~ Do yoga every damn day forever and ever
~ Have less anxiety


The good news is that I have the support of a coach whom I like and who has done this before. There are also other people in the group who will be doing this at the same time as I will and we will be commiserating and sharing recipes and such and generally supporting each other through the 7 days. Weight loss is a secondary concern to me. Energy levels, skin issues and GI issues are my number one concern. If I should drop a few pounds, that's extra credit. I also want to shock my system off artificial sugars and artificial chemically flavoring badness in general. If I understand things correctly, the less you consume this garbage, the less your brain wants to eat it. This will be VERY hard for me as I love dairy, coffee, booze, and carbs. I mean, an unhealthy, all-consuming, bodice-ripping love of these things. My coach is already kicking ass and telling me that she did not fully quit coffee when she cleansed and that I shouldn't beat myself up if I can't do it. There are a bunch of recipes and tips already up on the FB group from previous cleansers. I'm *kind of* looking forward to it. I feel like it's been a long time coming and that it will only be good for me in the end.

Imma need your encouragement. I'll try to find time to chronicle my experiences here. I'm sure it'll be interesting.

The Stitch Fix Saga of misery continues

Hey there. How's it going? I'm still annoyed. Yup. Still. Something about feeling like I was cheated by a company that I publicly supported really pisses me off. Weird, huh? So, you all may remember a few weeks ago when I got my last "Fix" from Stitch Fix and it was clear to me that they put zero effort into what they sent me and basically sent some random crap in a box on the off chance that I might like any of it. I waited a few weeks  to see if I got any response from the company based on the very negative feedback I sent them. I haven't heard a peep from them. So, I figured it was time to contact them myself and let them know that they cheated me out of $20 and that I was irate and wanted my money back. They did not hold up their end of the bargain. They did not do what they say their company does. If you blatantly ignore every preference that YOU, the company ask your customers for and then take their money anyway, then you should refund that money because promising something, taking money and then not following up on said promise is tantamount to stealing. I'm not having it. All would have been forgiven if I had heard from them prior to this point and they made some attempt at reconciliation, but since that did not happen, I'm now going to escalate my complaint. We'll see what happens.

I had a thought....

As I was soaking in the sun like a fat cat on the way to class, enjoying a pumpkin latte, I said to myself "what a great day! I have a lot to be happy about." I pretty much never have that thought. So often I find myself mired in sad feelings. Some of this is chemical and hard for me to control, but lately I've noticed that when I AM feeling sad it's compounded and sent spiraling down into the Nothing Good Can Come From This Abyss when I am (sub)consciously comparing myself to what I think I should be based on some cliched societal standards or when I'm comparing myself to others. If I have learned ANYTHING in my short time on this planet it's that nothing is as it seems and even people that seem to be the happiest can be suffering deeply on the inside. So why am I comparing myself to cliches and illusions? How does that help me? It doesn't. It fuels the depression monster in my brain. Now, some things are tragic and unavoidable. And sometimes your brain gives you a big middle finger and there's nothing you can do to stop the spiral into the abyss. I get that. I've been there. Sometimes though, when you're just teetering on the edge, it helps (me, anyway) to remember what I have that makes me feel lucky.There are a ton of things I wish I had or that I wish I was able to do, but you know what? Today is a good day and I have to go bonkers on the good days because my brain could decide it's sad bastard time whenever it wants and then I might not be able to pull myself back from the edge. My wish for you, dear readers, is that today turns out to be a good day. Get some sun. Get a pumpkin flavored thingey. Embrace your inner weezer (my step-father's word for children. He always referred to us as Little Weezers) and play in a pile of raked leaves. In your yard or someone else's. Don't get arrested. Have a cupcake. Gluten free, if necessary. 

Anyway, I need to spend more time reveling in my successes than wallowing in my failures. And maybe if I put that intention out into the universe, I'll remember it on my dark days.

In which I make a second attempt at keeping up with this and the awful, no good, very bad date.

You know what my problem is? I have a tendency to get all up in my feelings and want to play hermit for 5 months. That's what my problem is. I started this blog initially as an attempt to move away from all that. It was kind of a mixed bag. Mostly reviews of stuff I bought, some recipes and a small smattering of deep thoughts I had. What I'd like to do is create a place for Regular Jills (such as myself) to pop on in, read, get some cute ideas or whatever and then say hey, I'm not alone. No one i perfect or happy all the dang time and that's okay. So, even though I'm taking 10 credits this semester and working full time, I'm going to try to work it out. I've been insanely busy lately. When you only have one day off a week and you want to maintain friendships, you wind up using that day to hang with the people you like and not get your tedious crap done. Like cleaning your house. Or laundry. Or studying. This state of No Rest for the Jilly will persist through this weekend. I have promised good friends I haven't seen in months that I will go drink wine with them. And well, I wouldn't want to disappoint.

I did recently attempt to jump back into the dating thing. I thought I'd try online dating again. The online dating disaster of '08 traumatized me for awhile (I'll have to elaborate at some other time), but I was feeling saucy and thought I'd give it a go. I was duped people. I firmly believe that said fellow had someone typing all his messages to me. Modern day Cyrano D'Bergerac. Because the person I was chatting with and the person I met WERE NOT THE SAME PERSON. They couldn't be. The date started off poorly because he showed up half in the bag. Then he proceeded to insult the things I like as a matter of not being patriotic. Apparently it is not very red, white and blue to drink fancy whiskey, dislike cheap beer, and not care for country music. Not sure if that makes me a communist, but oh well. Whatever. Over the course of the night I also learned he chewed tobacco and at one point he was so hard up for nicotine he thought he's leave me at the bar so he could go seek out some Skoal. I should have let him, frankly, but I insinuated that I thought it would be rude to leave me alone at a bar where I knew no one to go get a nicotine fix. What REALLY bothered me though was what happened when we were poking around a local shop. He tells me to come here and he shows me a video he has on his phone of him introducing some potential candidate for senator. Said candidate takes the podium and goes on and on about what a real American hero he is for being a Veteran. The video stops and he looks at me expectantly as if to say "See?! I'm awesome. I'm a hero.". All I'm thinking is.....Did you just use your status as a veteran to try to pick up chicks? Really? I was extremely put off by this, but I didn't realize until later JUST how put off I was. My future brother-in-law did two tours of Afghanistan, I have dated several veterans, I have family that are veterans, I helped a friend (a veteran) when he needed better medical care to get an appointment at the clinic I work at and then the Doctor and I helped him when the Government tried to dick him out of the healthcare reimbursement he deserves. So, I appreciate the hell out of all veterans everywhere and I would go above and beyond to help any one of them if it was in my power to do so. As far as I was concerned the date was over when he showed me the video. I was pretty disgusted. Fortunately, I had a contingency plan and was meeting my cousin and her friends for a ladies night out. She really saved the day...er.....evening. He took off when she got there and attempted to contact me again the next day. He sort of seemed to think that everything went really well. o_O.....I don't really want to spend the time getting into why it didn't, so I just blocked him on all my social media and on my phone. Which might be a little shitty, I grant you, but this wasn't a long and involved affair, so I don't really feel compelled to spend too much time sorting it out.


I don't know you guys. I'm in a post-bad-date-I'll-never-meet-anyone funk. Imma go have some chocolate. Send me your positive vibes.

ANNOYED with Stitch Fix

Hello. I fell off the face of the earth. Sorry. I went on vacations. Then I started school again. I wasn't doing anything that interesting, actually. Well, I went to Ireland. That was pretty great. For anyone out there that might actually be wondering where I was (and I'm pretty sure those of you that actually read this know me for realsies and weren't concerned), I'm sorry. 

When I experience customer service that is either super awesome or super terrible I feel compelled to rave about it or warn people, so....

On to the point of the post: Stitch Fix has annoyed and disappointed me for the last time. I had previously been getting fixes pretty regularly, but it was getting to be expensive, so I stopped. Then I decided I'd treat myself to a back to school present. Since I'm workig full time and taking 10 credits this semester, what better to gift myself than clothes deliveres to my doorstep?! I had pretty high hopes, since I kept everything from the last box I ordered. I didn't request any specific pieces, but I requested cozy, warm pieces in fantastic fall colors. 

O_o.....

I should mention that I have 1 thing in my stitch fix profile that it says not to send me because I don't like them and won't buy them: skinny jeans. I also asked for the lowest prices possible, but I understand that average prices here are a bit high and if a piece is REALLY great, send it anyway.

Admittedly, I peeked at the receipt before I got the package and instantly became annoyed. Nothing was under $50. Not. One. Item. And the last item on the list?! Skinny freakin' jeans. This is like, my fifth or sixth fix! Really?! This is worse than the dreaded first fix of doom! By now they should 1. Know my preferences, 2. Know my size, and 3. Know my price preferenes! Hideous disappointment and frustration, here. 

So the box arrives. The skinny jeans are gray, WAY TOO INSANELY tight and $98.  No, no, no, a million times no. Back in the box.

Item #2 is a black and white striped fit and flare dress. Gee. That sounds familiar. Possibly because they sent me a near identical dress in my second fix. I dis not buy it then and I was not buying t now. It did not look or feel like fall. It was $68.

The third item was a black and white drape front cardigan. Much like the many drape front cardigans they sent me in the past. Much like the black and white aztec print drape front cardigan I bought from them. Back in the box. Now I've had two recycled items. Swell. Also $68.

The fourth item was a sheer, sleeveless, maroon shell with decorative cut outs in the back. Ummmm.....even if I wore a cardigan, it would be like I wasn't wearing a top at all. I live in freaking Connecticut. Are you kidding me?! The kicker? 74 freaking dollars. Seventy. Four.   I just...I mean, really? Fall in Connecticut? No sleeves? I just...I'm at a total loss. At least they got the color right.

Finally, item number 5 was a blousy "henley" with an odd pattern I didn't care for and did not at all flatter my shape. This was the cheapest item in the box at $54.

It is obvious that they did not reference my previous fixes, my profile, or my pinterest board when they threw these 5 items in a box and shipped them to me. I am IRATE that I wasted $20 on this. I apologize to everyone That used my referral code. I am embarrassed that I endorsed a company that ignores their customers. I simply cannot believe that they would ignore everything I said, but speaking with others, it seems they do that quite a lot. A friend used my referral code and the first fix had a bunch of enormous loose knit sweaters in it, so she requested they not send her any sweaters like that for fix #2. Guess what came in fix #2?

Should you decide to use their service anyway please be aware that you may be wasting $20. 

In which I try to get my shit together so I can be healthy and organized all week. :-)

So, I did absolutely nothing yesterday. It was glorious. I had this plan that I should not wear pants all day because pants are evil and should not be worn! I made it until about 7pm and then I had to put on pants and go out because I promised some people I'd see a show with them. So. Close.

Today I have a goal of making lunch for the week like I did two weeks ago. It was great. I may just make the same thing. I had delicious lunch every day that I didn't have to think about and that I actually wanted to eat. It was healthy and clean and gluten and dairy free, even! My tummy was very thankful. I've already made some lemon blueberry muffins. I yoinked the recipe from Gimme Some Oven. I like this lady a lot. You should check her out. She also has a blog about being single over 30. Since I am, I'm really into it. If that kind of thing interests you, you should check her out. Here's the recipe. I omitted the streusel topping. The lunches I made the other week were a mexican bowl with rice, black beans, ground turkey, roasted tomatoes, onions, and spices. They were REALLY good. I didn't really follow a recipe or anything, I just cooked it all up, layered it in a bowl and brought them for lunch.

I have another goal of reading a bunch of The Mist-Filled Path by Frank MacEowen. I keep meaning to develop my spiritual self and getting distracted by the day to day mundane things. I feel as though I'd be able to handle the garbage that gets thrown at me daily at work if I had a little bit more going on at my core. I need to work on my zen. As I've mentioned before, I feel a calling to Earth religions, specifically Paganism. This particular book has been tugging at the back of my brain for awhile and I think it will be really useful in putting me back in touch with the earth.

And yet a third goal of REALLY working out on a regular basis. The fitness center at work is doing a promotion for the month of May in which for a one time added fee of $40 you can get a once weekly appointment with a trainer and a plan for the month on really getting yourself into shape. I feel like the only way I'll stick to a work out plan is if someone is waiting for me. So...I made an appointment with a fellow for Wednesday of next week. Hopefully I'll get somewhere with that and can update y'all on my progress instead of making one or two posts about it and then ditching the routine as I so often have done in the past. I have floppy chicken wing arms and I hate them.

I have this dream that one day I'll be "Together" Jill. I'll work out regularly, I'll eat only healthy foods, I'll have an immaculate home, I'll bake regularly, get A's in all my classes and be a super star at work. Does anyone actually ever do all these things? I mean, without adderall?

I've also quit all the subscription boxes (except for Julep because they allow me to skip), so do not expect any more of those posts. I have gotten some GREAT deals on things, but that shit is totally addicting and all my extra cash was getting absorbed by boxes. I think you also get to a point where you just don't need anymore beauty products for awhile. I have enough serums and lotions now to last me a few years. I WILL post product reviews if I really like or hate something, though. I have tried a lot of them out, so if you also wanted to ask me what I thought of any of them I'd be happy to elaborate on that as well.

Alrighty, I have to go. I need to make a trip to Target and my bed is soooo comfortable I know that if I don't yoink myself out of it, I'll be here all day.

I hope everyone has an amazing week!

XOXO
~J

In which I try to do something good.

Several weeks back a friend on Google Plus reposted a post by a fellow who needed a kidney. We had the same blood type. I realized that I was a good candidate for donation. No diseases, no infections, low blood pressure, low cholesterol, healthy BMI, two excellent kidneys. So, I sent in the preliminary information and heard nothing for weeks. I dismissed it. I thought perhaps he no longer needed one for whatever reason.

Today I got another email asking me if I was available to go to Tufts on May 14 to meet the surgeons and get the necessary blood work. I'm unavailable that day, but I took my Birthday off of work (The 20th) and can go to Boston on that day. So, it's a date.

The feelings that came over me after I confirmed the meeting were...overwhelming. I instantly felt some regret and a little voice inside me started screaming "Back out, back out, back out!!!!", but then the more rational side of me keeps thinking "If it were me, I would want someone to come forward and help me". I know what this entails. They give you all the information up front and my Uncle donated a kidney, so I have first hand knowledge of the donation and the recovery process. It would mean six weeks out of work (which, although not a reason to donate a kidney, is a real upside of the whole process at this point). I just keep seeing this guy's face and the faces of his kids and thinking, what if I'm his person? I'm scared. I'm scared to be his person. I can't cancel the appointment now because I'd never forgive myself. It's such an enormous undertaking. I hope I'm ready for this. I can honestly say that all these feelings are completely new to me. I can't ever recall a time in my life in which I felt so conflicted. I suppose I won't know until I get this blood drawn and find out if I'm a tissue match. I suppose it's no good worrying about it until then...

Things I cooked today. Yum.

Hey kids. I've been a smidgen absentee. We changed to a new computer system at work and it's been beyond awful. Try to picture the worst possible go-live you can think of and that's what its been. I volunteered to work for overtime monies yesterday and I sincerely wish I hadn't. Ugh. I also found out I was going to have to switch schools again. Joy of Joys. So, I've been a little fried as of late.

I did manage to pull it together today long enough to make lunches for the week, homemade lemonade, lemon bread and beer bread. I even cleaned up after myself. Don't pass out or anything. I wanted to share the recipes with you. I found a recipe on The Spark for mexican rice and bean bowls, that I altered somewhat. Basically, I rinsed two cans of black beans and cooked up some brown rice. Then I diced a small onion and sauteed it in olive oil for 5 minutes or so. I added minced garlic for the last two. Then I threw in some ground turkey and seasoned it with Penzey's taco spice. When the turkey was cooked, I threw in a can of fire roasted diced tomatoes and cooked that until the liquid reduced to about half as much. Then you just layer rice, beans and meat in a little travel bowl to bring to work. I topped it with plain greek yogurt. It's pretty damn tasty, and paleo, and gluten free and clean and all that healthy stuff. One Perfect Bite provided the beer bread recipe, which was easy and SO GOOD. All crusty on the outside and soft and chewy inside. The beer I used was a bottle of Ten Penny Ale. The lemon bread recipe came from On Sutton Place. It was so good and super easy too. I didn't bother with the lemon extract. I just added a bit more zest. I'm sure you could de-glutenify these recipes if you got creative.

I ran out of energy. More later. I finally got the Popsugar Resort Box. It was kind of a let down. :-/

General Goings on

Ugh, so I haven't posted in a bit because of several reasons, one being that I got strep throat and was non-functional for several days. The second being that we launched a new computer system at work and it is mostly broken and terrible. Considering I work at a hospital, this is bad. It's taking forever to do anything because everything is a total shit show of terribleness. So, when I get out of work I mostly feel like alcohol and sleeping. And then finally, school. Grrrr....The University of Hartford doesn't believe that adult people should be able to hold down jobs and attend college, so they offer classes at asinine times in the middle of the day, several days a week, so you couldn't possibly work 8 straight hours at any job. They also don't return your emails about options or registration no matter how many times you attempt to contact your advisor. It just so happens that the college I was previously attending reopened their Respiratory Therapy program, so I made contact with them and will be returning there in the fall. They actually understand that people have to work and attend school at the same time, so they offer classes in the evenings. So, all that has gone down in the last two weeks along with all the schoolwork I have for the classes I'm currently enrolled in. To say I am a crispy burnt piece of toast would be an understatement.

For those of you that were reading this blog because of box reviews, I have some bad news. I have considerably cut back on the boxes I subscribed to because I'm trying to save money for my Ireland trip at the end of the summer. I quit Stitch Fix and I quit Birchbox and pretty much everything else. Not Julep because I signed up early enough to keep the skip option and I wouldn't want to lose that. I already paid $30 for 6 months of Bulu box, so there'll be 5 more of those. There are still some orders I made months ago trickling in, including the Popsugar Resort box, which I am REALLY excited for. I just checked out some spoilers and it looks to be SUPER AH-MAZING!!! I'll need all that stuff for my upcoming travels this summer, so it's totally worth it ;-). I *did* get a 50% off coupon for the April Popsugar box, so I grabbed that even though I had previously cancelled my account. $19.97 is a great deal for all that stuff. Can you argue with a 90% discount? I can't.

I'm home in MA visiting my homies this weekend, spending time with my favorite 4 year old and generally trying to catch up on school work in between visits. I should shower before it's time to go do things in public. I'm having a hard time getting motivated to do much, but somehow I seem to have written this. So there. Accomplishment. Bam.

FabFitFun VIP Box Spring 2014 ReviewI

Yes. Again. I told you. This week was insane. Everything I'd ordered, like a month ago, decided to show up all at once. Take my reviews and like them!!! I have to say, I super enjoy spending $35 and getting $200 worth of stuff. It's sort of an amazing deal. I get to try out a lot of things I couldn't afford or wouldn't drop that much cash on for less than the price of a single item in that box. The FabFitFun VIP box is quarterly, meaning, once a season, you get a box. I like that a lot better than a monthly box. I can justify spending the money on it since it's only four times a year. I had heard about this box, saw some spoilers on the internet and thought....well, there's a coupon too, so may as well give it a whirl! I'm SO GLAD I did. Here's two photos so you can get a better look.

In this amazing box there was:

• Kai Perfume Oil ($48) ~ It only comes in one scent and that scent contains gardenias. I am NOT a fan of gardenias, however, I am not repulsed by this. I'm trying it out to see how much I like it, but I'm not mad at it. 
• Cover FX SPF 30 Protection Primer ($38) ~ SWEET! I was JUST lamenting the lack of a primer in my makeup box! Huzzah! AND It's got SPF. Double bonus. 
• Merrithew mini stability ball and DVD ($28.94) ~ Well, I did just get a mini stability ball from my Popsugar box, but that one didn't have a dvd to go with and I accidentally threw away the straw you blow it up with, so this was a win too. 
• Dermasuri deep exfoliating mitt ($19.99) ~ This one has piqued my interest. I can't wait to try it in the shower tomorrow morning. It's supposed to be amazing and remove excessive amounts of dead skin. Like, enough so you can see it. I love gross stuff like that. 
• Cult Gaia Turband ($48) ~ These things are apparently all the rage amongst people who know what things are all the rage. It's a scarf with a wire in it and it's to be worn as a head band. I was SO happy to see I got the cherries! There were several variations in the boxes, all super cute, but this one was my favorite. These things get crazy pricey on their website. I would probably never drop that much dough on a hair accessory, but this one sure is cute!
• Oscar Blandi Pronto Dry Shampoo Invisible Spray ($25) ~ Again, I'd never spend $25 on designer dry shampoo, but I oohed and ahhed over this when I opened the box. I will happily use it to maintain my straightened hair for several days without looking like a hobo!
• Level Naturals Shower Bombs ($7.99) ~ These are all tea tree oil, menthol and eucalyptus and you fling 'em in the shower and inhale the goodness. I LOVE shower bombs. There were 4 in the box too!
• The Better Chip Spinach and Kale with Sea Salt ($1.99) ~ I'll try anything once. I am not an enormous fan of kale, but I'm willing to see where this goes. 

This box was worth over $215! SO GREAT! I'm really pleased. I forgot to mention that this box is curated by Giuliana Rancic. I dig her style. You can still buy this box! And if you'd like to, drop me a line and I'll refer you. 

Vegan Cuts Beauty Essentials Box

As I sit here at home on a Saturday night, a bit under the weather from the ENORMOUS amount of food I consumed at the maple sugar house, I bring you reviews of the many items I received this week from my sad, sad addiction to shiny packages that arrive on my doorstep. This time around it's the Vegan Cuts Beauty Essentials box. Now, Vegan Cuts has a monthly beauty and snack box subscription, but this was a one time purchase of some of their favorite stuff. I've been meaning to check out the vegan beauty scene and I thought for $27.95 this would be a good way to do it. Here's what they sent me:

I'm going to try to list them in some kind of order so you can match them up. Staring in the back...

• A cute canvas make-up bag that says Vegan Cuts on it. 
• Lotus Moon Vitamin B Hydrating Gel ~ this stuff is supposed to increase elasticity, reduce sebum production, inhibit inflammation, prevent clogged pores, and minimize dark spots. 
• Meow Meow Tweet Body Tonic in Geranium Basil ($3) ~ This stuff smells great and is supposed to balance and tone skin.
• Rainbow Honey Nail Polish ($4) ~ The color is a red sparkle called Persephone. Free of Formaldehyde, Toluene, and Dibutyl Phthalate. Sweet.
• Weleda Wild Rose Body Lotion ($2) ~ I love Weleda. I have a bunch of their lotions already. Everything smells AMAZING and they're very moisturizing. 
• Sunology SPF for face and body ($2)
• Soapbox Black Soap Body and Soul Wash ($0.50)
• North Coast Organics Deodorant ($3.75) ~ I'm always interested to try all natural deodorant. I've had bad luck with them in the past. I hate to smell like yucky armpit smell and have yet to find a natural deodorant that prevents it.
• Pacifica Coconut Kiss Lip Butter ($10) ~ This one was full size, which I LOVE. I am ADDICTED to Pacifica. I LOVE their blood orange scented products and will happily take anything they make.
• Earth Enrichments Lemon Soap ($1) ~ This stuff is making the box smell AMAZING. I love lemon!
• LA FRESH face wipes ($1) ~ I used one of these last night. It did a pretty good job and smelled GREAT.
• The All-Natural Face, Lip, and Cheek Color in Dusty Rose ($5.75) ~ I used this today as blush and lip color and I loved the texture and the light flush it gave my lips and cheeks
• Beauty Without Cruelty Lavender Shampoo ($1.50)

Not including the one sample I couldn't get a size on to determine value or the adorable bag, this box was worth $34.50. I'm pleased with the quality of the products and with the variety. If you're interested, I think the Vegan Cuts website is still doing this box as well as a vegan snack box, which I also ordered. Go ahead and check it out.

BeautyDNA Box

There's a brand new subscription box out there called Beauty DNA. You answer a very in depth survey about everything you're concerned about as far as your appearance goes and what your preferences are when it comes to your beauty products. For instance, I said I had sensitive skin and was concerned about fine lines. I also said I wanted products free from phtalates, parabens, mineral oil and other yucky stuff. You can even check off what your scent preferences are. You fork over $25 and they match you with a full size product that's worth at least $45 and ship it to your door within 5-7 business days. There are a limited number of spaces, since this is a beta test for this service and I DEFINITELY wanted in. They send you a great little card with your item that tells you what's in it, what it's used for, where to get it, etc. I received Ahava Dead Sea Osmoter Concentrate Serum. It retails for $60 (but is on sale on the Ahava website right now for $48). It's supposed to improve dryness and lack of radiance. It is also supposed to reduce signs of aging, which I'm all for. I got it yesterday and I've used it twice and so far I REALLY like it. What I like even MORE than that is the customer service I've been seeing on the internet. As you know, I poke around subscription sites to see what other people are getting and I've been impressed with the fact that BeautyDNA is also poking around those sites, taking peoples opinions into consideration and responding to their concerns. Well played, BeautyDNA. I like getting a full size product that I might not otherwise be able to afford. I'm going to stick this one out for awhile and see how they evolve. I'm impressed with the first month. Here's the photo of my product:

Check it out there's a little over 300 spots left!

Outfit of the Day and an outing!

I was feeling rather cute today as I headed out for a day of traditional New England fun: The Maple Sugar House. So I decided I'd share my ensemble as well as the few photos I took while we were there. It was sunny and lovely on the way up, then it snowed pretty heavily for about a half an hour and then the sun came back out and it got SO WARM. It was really a spectacular day. Complete with a trip to the coffee roasters and a candle store. I can seriously never have too many.

I almost didn't include this one, but my big coffee mug pleases me. 

Here. This one has my face in it. 

The inner workings of the sugar house. Steamy!

The view of the snow from our table.

Love this place!

Because I love a non-sequitur. Welcome to Masterpiece Theatre.

If you find yourself in New England in the early spring or fall I HIGHLY advocate finding a sugar house and getting the best breakfast you'll ever consume. It's a tradition I very much look forward to every year. Like a good little New Englander I LOVE MAPLE. SO. MUCH. The syrup I bought today was still hot it was so fresh. It doesn't get any better than that.

Petit Vour Box Review!!!!

Hello. Again. Shall I dive right into it?
I've been anxiously awaiting the Petit Vour box. It's 100 % vegan beauty products! $15 a month and wholesome vegan beauty guaranteed. They ALSO have a points program. I'm looking forward to purchasing some awesome discounted vegan beauty stuff!

• NCLA nail wraps! $18!!!! Two applications with a CUTE floral pattern. I am REALLY looking forward to putting these on. They came with their own emery board, too!
• Lotus Wei Balancing serum. It's an aromatherapy serum that you put on your pulse points to re-energize you. It smells lovely. Kind of citrus-y and kind of floral-y. Not at all overwhelming. Full size is $50 for 50 mL. This is a 10mL sample, so a value of $10
• California Natural Skin care set. This sample was three tiny pods one was a balancing complex, one was a gel face wash and one was a nourishing cream. There's no size on any of these, so I'm going to estimate about $3 for the value on these. They're less expensive, so about $1 a pod.
• I.C.O.N. India oil ~ Vegan hair serum This is the dark little bottle to the left. It's a good sized sample. 10mL. The full size is 114 mL and costs $40, so the value of this sample is $3.50
• LAFACE Hydrating and firming body lotion These are two foil packs. $80 for full size, so the value of the packs is $2.80

The total value of this box was about $37. I paid $15, so I'm not cranky about that. I am a little bummed that there wasn't a single make-up item. Bummer. I did REALLY like the nail wraps and the balancing serum. I was less than thrilled with the foil wrap samples. 

I haven't decided if I'm going to continue with this box. There were others I liked a lot more. We'll see how the points system pans out when they send me my survey. If I get big savings, I might overlook it, although there wasn't anything I really wanted to buy in this box.

Bulu Box Review

Hello all. Happy Friday. I'm happy to be writing to you a glass and a half of wine into my evening. I have tons of awesome plans this weekend that include going dancing with my fabulous friend Rebecca, and going to my favorite maple sugar house with friends. If you've never been to a sugar house for breakfast, you're missing out. I HIGHLY recommend. I digress...
This week I have received 4 boxes. Yep. 4. The first of which was my Bulu Weight Loss box. I used a coupon code and got 6 months for $30. I probably would NOT have gotten this Sub for the full price $10 a month. However, $5 was quite a good deal, IMHO.

Here lieth my first box:

• Smarty pants weight loss vitamin chews. Multivitamin, source of dietary fiber and omega-3. (1 days worth = 6 chews) $1.60
• Mestrength drink powder. Boosts metabolism, provides electrolytes. $1.16
• Body Glove Energy Surge Gel $2.09
• Tapaz 2 Go $2.99
• Helps R&R tea $0.27
• Barleans Omega Swirl oil Mango Peach flavor $0.59
• Yes! Change is Easy notecard $0.90

Total Value of the box is $9.60

I liked the variety in the box, but I was a bit disappointed by the size of some of the samples. One days worth of vitamins is not nearly enough to be able to determine if I'd like to buy the whole bottle. They do have a points system, similar to Birchbox and you can earn dollars off full price items in the shop, however their points expire after 90 days. I definitely like things intended to increase energy level, so I hope they include more of those in future boxes. 

AND YET ANOTHER POST. Have I lost my mind? It's entirely possible. I'm also planning on doing a history of St. Patrick's Day post for you as well, so put that in your pipe and smoke it! This here is my March 2014 Birchbox. I've been subscribing for 13 months now. It has had it's ups and downs, but what keeps me coming back is the awesome points system in the shop. I have saved lots of money on full sized items by leaving reviews of things I got in my Birchbox. 

Here we have:

• Coola Tinted Matte SPF for face
• DDF Ultra lite oil free moisturizing dew
• Gilchrist and Soames London Collection Body Lotion
• English Laundry No. 7 For Her Perfume
• Ghirardelli Intense Dark Cherry Tango chocolate bar
• Ojon Damage reverse Restorative Hair treatment plus

I was a bit disappointed with this box. I was really hoping for the Inika green eyeliner and the stila lip glosses that some people got this month. ESPECIALLY the green eyeliner. It was full sized and valued at $20. The body lotion made no difference to my sad dry hands and kinda smelled medicine-y/heavy floral. I didn't care for the smell at all. The chocolate was good, but not as good as my favorite chocolate bar that also has dried cherries in it. The Coola was okay and I'll probably use it at the beach, but it may as well not have been tinted because it provided zero coverage. Perfume. Ugh. I wish they'd stop sending me perfume. I have their "less than six a year" option chosen, but I am seriously picky when it comes to fragrances and loathe most everything that's out there. This was bad too. It smelled old. Like heavy and overly flowery...just not something a younger person would choose to wear. I like something that's more light and fresh. I wear Philosophy Falling in Love and I adore it and would never change or use ANYTHING else. Sending me perfume samples is a waste of a sample. There's a 99.9% chance I'm going to absolutely hate it. I haven't cracked into the Ojon yet, but even though I color my hair I use a lot of other products to keep it healthy, so I really don't have a need for a damage repair treatment. I also haven't checked out the ingredients list, but you can bet if there's sulfates in it that it's going in the garbage. This one is getting mixed reviews, but I'll try it out and see how it goes. I did like the DDF and it was an EXCELLENT sample size. It was 1 oz and the full size is 1.7 oz for $42. There are 30 mL in an ounce, so there's about 50 mL in 1.7 ounces. That's 50 mL for $42, so 30 mL had a value of $35. Not too shabby. I like the way it feels on my skin and I can always use extra moisturizing even if there isn't an SPF in it. If I hated everything else, the value of this one product makes my $10 well spent. I am probably going to purchase the eyeliner since I have some points to spend and a coupon for being with the company for over a year. Here's hoping for a better April.

POPSUGAR March 2014 Must Have Box

Back again to tell you about all the cool stuff I got. I didn't know if I was going to keep up this subscription because it's a little on the expensive side. However, they released a spoiler and it was a picture of a BEAUTIFUL scarf and as we all know, I am a sucker for scarves. Sad, but true. So I decided that maybe there'd also be an awesome St. Paddy's day item in the box and I'd hang out this month and see what's up. I'm super glad I did. This box blew last month's box away. I yoinked the second and third photos from My Subscription Addiction. If you think I have a problem with subscription boxes, you should go over there and see just how many more I could be getting. Crazy. 

This photo I took. Then I tore into the box and started using things, sooooo I had to borrow the other photos. 

Here's a photo of what was included in the box:

And of course, the BEAUTIFUL Brokedown Blue Ikat Scarf, which they're saying they charge $72 for. That is a ridiculous amount to charge for a scarf and even though this one is SO soft and beautiful, I would never pay that much for it, so already the box was a big win for me because I didn't even pay that much for the box as a whole. I really do love this scarf. It's going to be perfect for spring. 

The other items included were as follows:

• Dogeared Lucky Horseshoe Make a Wish Necklace ~ $30
• Jurlique Herbal Recovery Advanced Serum ~ $27
• Bauble Bar Elephant Ring Tree ~ $12
• Nature's Bakery All Natural Strawberry Fig Bar ~ $1.50
• SnapPea Crisps ~ $2
• Active Forever Mini Exercise Ball ~ $9.95

I really loved the variety in this box that last month's box was lacking. The lucky horseshoe necklace is on a string and meant to be worn until the string breaks and that supposedly means "your wish is ready to come true". I don't know about all that, but it's super cute and I love the way the horseshoe sits in the hollow of my throat. I've been wearing it ever since it showed up. I'm really impressed with Jurlique as a brand. They grow all most of what they use on their farm, they don't test on animals, they're environmentally conscious, they give back to their community....basically everything you'd want out of a company whose products you'd like to purchase. I like the serum a lot and have been regularly using it since I got it. I don't know if it's doing anything yet. I'll report back. The SnapPea crisps were a bit salty, but a great crunchy alternative to chips. The fig bar was delicious. Not too dry. I'm always worried about that with those cake-y type bars. I was SO stoked to see the exercise ball AND the workout they posted on the PopSugar blog to go along with it. I intend to use it as soon as I can locate some excess energy. I thought the elephant ring holder was SO adorable and just the kind of quirky accessory I want to have sitting on my bureau.  

This was $40 well spent. I definitely got my values worth and was pleased with everything in the box this month. I'll have to see what spoiler they release for next month and decide whether it's worth it to keep going. 

Graze Box Yummies!

Hello Interwebs. How are we on this delightful Sunday? I'm already lamenting the end of the weekend. It really should be longer. Work is BS. Sorry. Moving on....I have gotten two more Graze boxes since the first and I have to say I am rather pleased with them overall. They've been a great go-to snack when I'm hungry, have no time and don't want to eat garbage. Here's what I've gotten since we last talked snacks.

Cocoa Paradise

Cracking Black Pepper Cashews

Little Figgy Went to Market

Cookies and Cream

Walnut and Vanilla Truffle

                                       

Salsa Fresca

Mississippi BBQ Pistachios

Pina Colada

 My absolute favorites so far have been the Walnut and Vanilla Truffle and the Pina Colada. The Salsa Fresca was okay, but I really like fresh salsa and this was a bit more like the canned stuff you can buy, obviously. The nutritional information can be found here. And as always, I have a Referral Code. I highly recommend this because it's inexpensive, it's good for busy people and you can make tweaks. You won't get anything you might be allergic to. You can choose a low calorie option. You can even say you just don't like something. For instance I LOVE wasabi and horseradish, but HATE cayenne pepper spiciness, so I went through the snacks and eliminated anything that might have cayenne pepper in it as an option. You rate everything after you taste it and they build a better profile for you based on your taste preferences, so the more you try the better they get at figuring out what you like. I'm a big fan.

What other things do I have coming up the pipeline? Well, I'm about to do the Pop Sugar March review, I also got my Birchbox this month...My BULU Box has shipped ($30 for 6 months of boxes!) and so did the Petit Vour ($15/month) FINALLY. I also got the Vegan Cuts Essentials Beauty Box (a one time delivery $27.95) that will be coming soon as well. The Pop Sugar Resort Box (This was a splurge. Also a one time delivery) I ordered is due to ship at the end of March. I ordered another Plated Delivery because there was a coupon code. Again. I know I'm addicted. Sad, but true. I AM finding out a whole lot about some products I really like and getting them at awesome bargains, so I can't really complain. I've been tooling around on my favorite subscription box blogs and they all say that after the initial "WOW" of bargains and new stuff that you start to get really choosy and stop getting so many boxes because it simply isn't worth the money. I would FOR SURE not order Plated boxes if there weren't coupon codes. It's just too expensive. I almost forgot the FabFitFun box. This is like an unhinged ferris wheel rolling swiftly toward the ocean, isn't it? WELP, I'm still paying my bills and saving for my Summer of Awesome Vacations, so I suppose it could be worse. At least it's semi-interesting reading for you guys. If nothing else, you can stare at the trainwreck that is my addiction. Imma do the PopSugar March box next. It was SO. GOOD.

All of the good things! (none of the bad) And Music I want you to hear.

So many awesome things are happening, you guys! I'm having such a great couple of days. Much improved over last week. Last Tuesday beat me upside the head with a freaking brick. O-Chem exam, O-Chem quiz and TWO O-Chem labs, not to mention the work day from hell. Saying I was fried was the understatement of the century.
Good things this week:
~Got offered paying acting gig! This is the best news of all. A very funny friend is writing a humorous murder mystery dinner set in colonial times. I was asked if I would put on a big poufy dress and act hysterical over a (faux) dead body. Yes. Yes I will.
~Bridal Expo with my sister. I'm super pleased to be MoH in my sister's wedding. She's pretty much the greatest ever and her fiance rocks. As much as I hate all things bridal, I'm excited to help her plan her day.
~ Rehearsal for next weeks Irish music festival. Love the band. Love the song. Can't wait to put on my green and sing some Flogging Molly
~ My bestie is coming to visit this weekend! YAYS!
~Stitch Fix of awesomeness INCLUDING an email from someone AT Stitch Fix thanking me for blogging about them. SWEET.
~New Graze box came today with tasty noms.

Work blows, school is hard, I'm getting two fillings tomorrow and friends are generally disappointing me with their terrible treatment of others, but I've decided that I need to focus on the awesome and kick everything that is being lame to the curb. I faltered a little bit with this this week. Not going to lie. Monday was a BAD day for me. I got all in my feelings and was exhausted and sad. Tuesday turned it around, though and I started to get my perspective back. I'm still struggling with some anger and disappointment, but I'm pretty determined to put it behind me and soldier on. People can be SO disappointing sometimes, and sadly, when people are acting like Ultra Mega Douchebags, I've realized that you have to offer them the one chance to stop and apologize and if they don't take you up on that offer, then you have to put distance in between you otherwise you risk getting sucked into the vortex of their terribleness. There was a time when I would DESPERATELY try to get people to come over to the side of good and reason, but it just burned me out and pissed them off, so I've given up on that. The lessons here are: Real friends don't encourage you to do bad things. Real friends don't seek to hurt you (and anyone else they can). Some people don't give a hoot about honesty and don't want to hear it. Bad people do bad things and you can't stop them all. Take care of yourself because no one else will. If that means cutting people out of your life, then do it. Karma exists, I've seen it work and it is both ironic and cruel. I'm finished with people who try to ruin my zen.

In the spirit of awesome things I'd like to share a few of the things I can't stop listening to right now that I think everyone should know about:

• Beck's new album, Morning Phase. Have you heard this? It blows my mind. It's unlike anything I've heard from him before. So beautiful. Check it out.
• Fitz and The Tantrums. In particular, Moneygrabber. I literally had to stop myself from dancing to class listening to this. I might risk looking like a complete weirdo for Fitz. 
• Everything Agnes Obel has put out. It's dark and haunting and pretty and I'm in love with her. You should fall in love with her too.
• Postmodern Jukebox. They take pop songs (most of which I find terrible) and class them up as swing or standards. They're fantastic
• All of The Hunger Games soundtracks. It's a lot of the folksy/bluegrassy stuff I really like. I have not seen the movies or read the books, but I am addicted to the soundtracks. I love The Civil Wars, Birdy and The Carolina Chocolate Drops already, so these albums were already a win for me.

Once upon a time my Spotify account was attached to Facebook and then that got REALLY annoying because every time I listened to something it posted, so I had the accounts separated. I don't know about you guys, but if I'm really grooving on a song, I can listen to it 4 or 5 times before I move on. I'm ladymacbeth1980 on Spotify, if anyone wants to follow me.

Go out into the world people and try to do more good than you do harm. That's my goal every day.

I leave you with a picture of my kitten, to give you the warm fuzzies. Vasili hopes you have a great weekend.