Friday, April 18, 2014

In which I try to do something good.

Several weeks back a friend on Google Plus reposted a post by a fellow who needed a kidney. We had the same blood type. I realized that I was a good candidate for donation. No diseases, no infections, low blood pressure, low cholesterol, healthy BMI, two excellent kidneys. So, I sent in the preliminary information and heard nothing for weeks. I dismissed it. I thought perhaps he no longer needed one for whatever reason.

Today I got another email asking me if I was available to go to Tufts on May 14 to meet the surgeons and get the necessary blood work. I'm unavailable that day, but I took my Birthday off of work (The 20th) and can go to Boston on that day. So, it's a date.

The feelings that came over me after I confirmed the meeting were...overwhelming. I instantly felt some regret and a little voice inside me started screaming "Back out, back out, back out!!!!", but then the more rational side of me keeps thinking "If it were me, I would want someone to come forward and help me". I know what this entails. They give you all the information up front and my Uncle donated a kidney, so I have first hand knowledge of the donation and the recovery process. It would mean six weeks out of work (which, although not a reason to donate a kidney, is a real upside of the whole process at this point). I just keep seeing this guy's face and the faces of his kids and thinking, what if I'm his person? I'm scared. I'm scared to be his person. I can't cancel the appointment now because I'd never forgive myself. It's such an enormous undertaking. I hope I'm ready for this. I can honestly say that all these feelings are completely new to me. I can't ever recall a time in my life in which I felt so conflicted. I suppose I won't know until I get this blood drawn and find out if I'm a tissue match. I suppose it's no good worrying about it until then...

2 comments:

  1. You would be doing an AMAZING thing, lady.

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  2. Thanks :) I'm pretty freaked out by it, but at the same time, I don't want to pass this up in case I turn out to be the person who could help this guy.

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